I just received an urgent message from Minnesota Fat Cat. If you remember, he is the Midwest's honorable groundhog.
Minnesota Fat Cat says that his southern cousin, General Beauregard Lee, who lives in Atlanta, is in big trouble. It seems on Groundhog Day, Beau predicted an early spring this year for the south.
However, four - let me repeat that - four major storms have hit the south in just the last couple weeks. Some folks are suggesting he get his eyes checked. Others are reacting more strongly and suggesting he should be arrested for making false predictions.
I hope he can weather this storm (pardon the puns) and clear his reputation. Because normally he is a reliable groundhog sort of guy. And a genial southerner. Why, he'll make up a batch of sugared ice tea when he sees you coming and sweep out his den to welcome you. He even will check to see if the pictures on the wall are straight. (He does worry about those many earthquakes in Oklahoma).
Because climate change has screwed up the winter weather big time and left meteorologists's computer models crashing, groundhog predictions are more important than they have ever been. Folks need to know when to put out the deck furniture and grill baby grill.And when to start walking in the woods looking for morels.
Speaking of spring say a prayer or two for the Massachusetts groundhog. They have so much snow in Boston that the poor fellow didn't even try to find his way through all the snow. Now there is a groundhog suffering cabin fever in a major way! When all that snow eventually does go away and he can emerge, he'd better have his sunglasses handy so as not to damage his eyes.
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