The trees bewildered
stark, bare silhouettes against grey sky
waiting for a signal to explode in green
prolonged winter cold becomes summer
in one day.
Tiny white snowdrops
spring’s sentinels bloom under April snows
buried spring bulbs hesitate to push upward
Arctic ice-melt carries seals on floes blown
far southward.
Fearful people
each out for some stability in this absence of
seasonal cycles buried deep with their bones
a stability that no longer exists, afraid to trust
the sudden warmth will stay.
Inept brothers bomb
an iconic event and shatter illusions of safety
as a thirsty nation devours each minute detail
this media feeding frenzy eluding the answers
to what creates violence.
Winter-weary people
on an collective search for illusive assurance
cry out for the past that provided an anchor
while the air saturated with chaos and change
hangs over all.
Bewildered trees a symbol
all of us frozen together in time and space
so uncertain of what might lie ahead of us
waiting, we wait for something not named
beyond imagination.
And yet we hope.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Catalpa at Rice Creek
Beneath a great tree canopy,
I look through to bits of
blue and wispy clouds.
An unblemished leaf
startles me with its expanse -
wider than my
outstretched hand.
But, it is not the sky-blue
patches among the leaves
that draw me in,
but the green network of
leaf veins, like finger-pathways,
all converging, connecting,
conveying life-giving fluids to
sustain new growth,
even though it is autumn -
to form growing pods of fruit that
will hang in clusters like pendants.
Far cry from the Catalpa's
delicate spring display of
orchid-like blooms that
greet all who pass,
until they finally flutter loose
with the slightest of
casual breezes -
like moth wings released.
It too, will be like that
with its fall leaves!
But, for now -
it is now.
This spring, nothing has yet begun to bud out, not even
the elderberry. Oh . . . I must correct that declaration . . .
I did see a lone dandelion in bloom in a microclimate
up next to a foundation in the sun. And the day lily
shoots are already 1/4 inch up! It will be a while before
the catalpa shows signs of life.
I look through to bits of
blue and wispy clouds.
An unblemished leaf
startles me with its expanse -
wider than my
outstretched hand.
But, it is not the sky-blue
patches among the leaves
that draw me in,
but the green network of
leaf veins, like finger-pathways,
all converging, connecting,
conveying life-giving fluids to
sustain new growth,
even though it is autumn -
to form growing pods of fruit that
will hang in clusters like pendants.
Far cry from the Catalpa's
delicate spring display of
orchid-like blooms that
greet all who pass,
until they finally flutter loose
with the slightest of
casual breezes -
like moth wings released.
It too, will be like that
with its fall leaves!
But, for now -
it is now.
This spring, nothing has yet begun to bud out, not even
the elderberry. Oh . . . I must correct that declaration . . .
I did see a lone dandelion in bloom in a microclimate
up next to a foundation in the sun. And the day lily
shoots are already 1/4 inch up! It will be a while before
the catalpa shows signs of life.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Beans Seeds as a Threat?
I have ordered seeds from Vermont Bean Seed Company for decades - the best source of unusual varieties that I have found. Before I knew this protracted weather was going to be the pattern, I placed my order as usual near the beginning of February. I mean, I wanted to be ready for gardening to begin!
The small box arrived in several weeks. And without looking at it I stashed it with my other seed order from Burpee Seeds. Several days ago, I dug out the seed orders - despite the never-ending snowfall (yes, snow will make another pass through here tonight). On the top of the box was a diagonal sticker SCANNED in large letters.
Scanned? My bean seeds? The box arrived long before the Boston Marathon bombing and today's foiled plot to blow up a Canadian train. Was my box of Jacob's Cattle beans, Black Coco beans, Snow Peas, Bonbon winter squash seeds, and dill seeds deemed dangerous by the post office?
Thankfully, I did not order castor beans - used to produce ricin, the stuff sent by letter to President Obama and a southern legislator. Perhaps then my order would have been confiscated and I would have had the FBI knocking at my door.
It raises the question of what we have become on this planet earth. This wanton destruction of innocent people - a new form of warfare. And turbulent extreme weather.
I look at the weather map, endure one grey day after another - and my seed order sulks on the kitchen counter. There will be no garden planting for some time ahead. I look through my meticulously-kept gardening records. Pea pods go in the ground the first of April. All my cool weather veggies planted by now. Instead, the disturbed weather patterns persist and I stare out of the window at snow designed for December and January - not April.
The small box arrived in several weeks. And without looking at it I stashed it with my other seed order from Burpee Seeds. Several days ago, I dug out the seed orders - despite the never-ending snowfall (yes, snow will make another pass through here tonight). On the top of the box was a diagonal sticker SCANNED in large letters.
Scanned? My bean seeds? The box arrived long before the Boston Marathon bombing and today's foiled plot to blow up a Canadian train. Was my box of Jacob's Cattle beans, Black Coco beans, Snow Peas, Bonbon winter squash seeds, and dill seeds deemed dangerous by the post office?
Thankfully, I did not order castor beans - used to produce ricin, the stuff sent by letter to President Obama and a southern legislator. Perhaps then my order would have been confiscated and I would have had the FBI knocking at my door.
It raises the question of what we have become on this planet earth. This wanton destruction of innocent people - a new form of warfare. And turbulent extreme weather.
I look at the weather map, endure one grey day after another - and my seed order sulks on the kitchen counter. There will be no garden planting for some time ahead. I look through my meticulously-kept gardening records. Pea pods go in the ground the first of April. All my cool weather veggies planted by now. Instead, the disturbed weather patterns persist and I stare out of the window at snow designed for December and January - not April.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Violence and the Human Psyche
Two more deaths - a 26 year-old policeman and one of the young men who bombed the Boston Marathon. The city of Boston now on lock-down as law enforcement searches for his brother, who is believed to have placed the backpack containing one of the bombs in place near the finish line.
It would be so easy to say that these two young men deserve death for their horrendous deed. Death answered by more death. But answers to the underlying questions of the human capacity for violence elude us.
Mental illness seems to be one option as an explanation. But what is mental illness? After over three decades as a therapist and psychologist, one would think I could answer that question. But I cannot.
The legal definition of insanity is the inability to know the difference between right and wrong. In Minnesota this week, a jury rejected an insanity plea from a father who brutally murdered his three young daughters. The jurors agreed he was mentally ill, but able to distinguish how wrong his crime against his children had been. Doesn't take an advanced degree in confusion to scratch your head with the inherent contradiction of this trial's conclusion.
Nor is the ludicrous solution for violence an answer that was suggested by one letter writer to the editor in this week's paper . He stated that the mentally ill should be "incarcerated" (his word, not mine). Behaving "politically sane" would make being "politically correct" seem innocuous. If this was our culture's norm, be careful of how you behave or what you say or your neighbor might turn you in!
Is grief really a mental illness? It is, according to the newest version of the manual used to diagnose mental illness. I remember my mother-in-law several days after her husband died. She was a woman who chose to cope with life by remaining "on the surface." At one point, she was walking from the bedroom toward the kitchen. She stopped stark still and ranted at the top of her lungs at this man who left her a widow. Stunned, we froze in our conversations and stared at her. As quickly as she began, she stopped her tirade. She continued on into the kitchen as though nothing had occurred. She never again exhibited such behavior the rest of her life. A mini-psychotic episode? Yes. Mental illness? Hardly.
Or what about the use of a mental illness diagnosis, which is made in order to use insurance to pay for mental health help? Categories as broad and varied as possible. Is this really what mental illness is? No way is such a diagnosis as depression or anxiety any explanation for violent behavior.
Does violence breed violence? That makes as much sense as saying children raised by a mentally-ill parent will become mentally-ill adults. Indeed, some of these children are described by psychologists as resilient. They grow up to be strong and healthy adults, contributing members of their communities.
Thousands and millions of people grow up or live in violent environments. And they do not become violent people. Sometimes their personal circumstances are the motivation for them to become peace activists, or people who work for gun control, or mental health professionals in order to use their own experiences to help others heal.
Having violent thoughts are universal. Everyone of us at times have experienced such thoughts. But very few of us ever act on them. Being married is one such condition - how many times have you wanted to "kill your spouse" for her or his repeated annoying behavior?
How ironic that the bombing in Boston and the rejection of gun control legislation in the Senate happened within days of each other. Of course, background checks are not the answer to mass shootings such as in Connecticut or Colorado. It is the impetus behind this imperfect proposed legislation that matters. People who care enough to search for answers to reduce the brutality of one human against another.
It would be so easy to say that these two young men deserve death for their horrendous deed. Death answered by more death. But answers to the underlying questions of the human capacity for violence elude us.
Mental illness seems to be one option as an explanation. But what is mental illness? After over three decades as a therapist and psychologist, one would think I could answer that question. But I cannot.
The legal definition of insanity is the inability to know the difference between right and wrong. In Minnesota this week, a jury rejected an insanity plea from a father who brutally murdered his three young daughters. The jurors agreed he was mentally ill, but able to distinguish how wrong his crime against his children had been. Doesn't take an advanced degree in confusion to scratch your head with the inherent contradiction of this trial's conclusion.
Nor is the ludicrous solution for violence an answer that was suggested by one letter writer to the editor in this week's paper . He stated that the mentally ill should be "incarcerated" (his word, not mine). Behaving "politically sane" would make being "politically correct" seem innocuous. If this was our culture's norm, be careful of how you behave or what you say or your neighbor might turn you in!
Is grief really a mental illness? It is, according to the newest version of the manual used to diagnose mental illness. I remember my mother-in-law several days after her husband died. She was a woman who chose to cope with life by remaining "on the surface." At one point, she was walking from the bedroom toward the kitchen. She stopped stark still and ranted at the top of her lungs at this man who left her a widow. Stunned, we froze in our conversations and stared at her. As quickly as she began, she stopped her tirade. She continued on into the kitchen as though nothing had occurred. She never again exhibited such behavior the rest of her life. A mini-psychotic episode? Yes. Mental illness? Hardly.
Or what about the use of a mental illness diagnosis, which is made in order to use insurance to pay for mental health help? Categories as broad and varied as possible. Is this really what mental illness is? No way is such a diagnosis as depression or anxiety any explanation for violent behavior.
Does violence breed violence? That makes as much sense as saying children raised by a mentally-ill parent will become mentally-ill adults. Indeed, some of these children are described by psychologists as resilient. They grow up to be strong and healthy adults, contributing members of their communities.
Thousands and millions of people grow up or live in violent environments. And they do not become violent people. Sometimes their personal circumstances are the motivation for them to become peace activists, or people who work for gun control, or mental health professionals in order to use their own experiences to help others heal.
Having violent thoughts are universal. Everyone of us at times have experienced such thoughts. But very few of us ever act on them. Being married is one such condition - how many times have you wanted to "kill your spouse" for her or his repeated annoying behavior?
How ironic that the bombing in Boston and the rejection of gun control legislation in the Senate happened within days of each other. Of course, background checks are not the answer to mass shootings such as in Connecticut or Colorado. It is the impetus behind this imperfect proposed legislation that matters. People who care enough to search for answers to reduce the brutality of one human against another.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Mourning the Destruction of Lives
It is at times like this when words fail me. Yet, I feel compelled to find some words within me as I follow this act of terror in Boston yesterday.
So many questions I have. Questions many of us are asking. Questions that go beyond discovering who carried out this terrible act.
How can anyone visit such destruction on innocent people? What is it in the human psyche that allows for such desire to hurt, maim, and kill? Is it ideology? Or vengeance for some imagined wrong? Might it be an attempt to feel power instead of feeling powerless? Is it wanting a sense of importance to create newspaper headlines and video footage played over and over?
This was an act long planned and carefully executed. By someone who knew enough about destruction to devise bombs that tore limbs off people. And thank God, made a few mistakes in that two other bombs did not explode.
My heart and soul go out in sorrow to all of the people there and to all of us reeling from what happened. And it brings home in graphic detail what it means to be living in Syria today - or other countries torn by terrorist activities and war.
May God have mercy on us all.
So many questions I have. Questions many of us are asking. Questions that go beyond discovering who carried out this terrible act.
How can anyone visit such destruction on innocent people? What is it in the human psyche that allows for such desire to hurt, maim, and kill? Is it ideology? Or vengeance for some imagined wrong? Might it be an attempt to feel power instead of feeling powerless? Is it wanting a sense of importance to create newspaper headlines and video footage played over and over?
This was an act long planned and carefully executed. By someone who knew enough about destruction to devise bombs that tore limbs off people. And thank God, made a few mistakes in that two other bombs did not explode.
My heart and soul go out in sorrow to all of the people there and to all of us reeling from what happened. And it brings home in graphic detail what it means to be living in Syria today - or other countries torn by terrorist activities and war.
May God have mercy on us all.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
On Being an Optimist
With increased visits to mental health centers by the general population, we decided in the interest of preserving our mental health, we need an alternative tactic.
It is called screens.
We decided it is time to "detail our house," our term for our semi-annual through cleaning. Like places that detail cars, it is periodically necessary to route out all traces of grunge. Washing the outside of windows will have to wait a few more weeks for hoped-for warmth. However, we have made the inside of the house our target.
We take one room at a time. Everything is washed (except walls and ceilings). Clutter is eliminated. Closets are organized - though we are not foolish enough to put away our winter coats. We did hear of some folks caught up short this last snow-storm, having taken their winter coats to the dry-cleaners. An questionable act of faith, I must say.
Pixie the Cat intensely dislikes all this activity because it involves the vacuum cleaner, which she regards as a blue-colored terrorist. While her sister, Maggie the Cat finds all of our energetic efforts a great source of entertainment. Me? I am discovering muscle groups hiding-out in various parts of my body!
I ignore looking out the window as I wash it. Since it looks like January outside, I do not wish to jumble my brain, causing it to freeze up like my computer does occasionally when it receives two opposite sets of directives. No one around here washes windows in the middle of winter.
Then with great optimism, we put screens on the windows that open outward! Every fall we take them off to allow as much light into the house - but springtime means mosquitoes - which means screens.
Do mosquito eggs hide out in such unusual times? Waiting patiently for enough warmth to hatch and plan their attacks on humans. And what about the spring warbler wave that happens the first week in May? What will these little gems do if they fly north and find no mosquitoes?
Now, now. No more of such talk. Optimism is the rule of the land in our house! At least we will be ready when mosquitoes, known as Minnesota's state bird, arrive on the scene.
It is called screens.
We decided it is time to "detail our house," our term for our semi-annual through cleaning. Like places that detail cars, it is periodically necessary to route out all traces of grunge. Washing the outside of windows will have to wait a few more weeks for hoped-for warmth. However, we have made the inside of the house our target.
We take one room at a time. Everything is washed (except walls and ceilings). Clutter is eliminated. Closets are organized - though we are not foolish enough to put away our winter coats. We did hear of some folks caught up short this last snow-storm, having taken their winter coats to the dry-cleaners. An questionable act of faith, I must say.
Pixie the Cat intensely dislikes all this activity because it involves the vacuum cleaner, which she regards as a blue-colored terrorist. While her sister, Maggie the Cat finds all of our energetic efforts a great source of entertainment. Me? I am discovering muscle groups hiding-out in various parts of my body!
I ignore looking out the window as I wash it. Since it looks like January outside, I do not wish to jumble my brain, causing it to freeze up like my computer does occasionally when it receives two opposite sets of directives. No one around here washes windows in the middle of winter.
Then with great optimism, we put screens on the windows that open outward! Every fall we take them off to allow as much light into the house - but springtime means mosquitoes - which means screens.
Do mosquito eggs hide out in such unusual times? Waiting patiently for enough warmth to hatch and plan their attacks on humans. And what about the spring warbler wave that happens the first week in May? What will these little gems do if they fly north and find no mosquitoes?
Now, now. No more of such talk. Optimism is the rule of the land in our house! At least we will be ready when mosquitoes, known as Minnesota's state bird, arrive on the scene.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
F U N C U S I O N
"Mine as good is as your guess" or
"goopledygopp gopp you say"
This spring season is almost totally out of whack. Some would
even say "nonsensical". In the not-so-recent past, a person
count on certain weather-events occurring in a sequential fashion.
Yes - predictable.
Elizabeth and I so love gardening and hardly can wait to begin!
We have had the packets of vegetable and flower seeds for some
time. A normal spring would see the first of the peas in the ground
by the first of April (at least in this part of Minnesota). It is now
well into the second week in April . . .
During this morning's "exploration walk", braving the thick, cold,
sleety rain, I discovered that the elderberry bushes have not even
thought of pushing out their buds to greet the world. (normally,
they are among the first to bud out and flower.) No sign of the
"wild ginger. Or snowdrops.
However, the joyous news is that our bougainvillea vines are
crawling all over the inside of the windows of our backyard-facing
"Garden Room". They cling to light fixtures and rungs of rocking
chairs for support. And, they are blooming in a profusion of pastel
oranges and pinks. It is as if they somehow know that this is the
time for them to escape to the outside to explore the fresh spring air.
(Always, we have put them out on the back deck by mid-March).
Of course the evergreen ground-cover vinca and pachysandra are
peering out from under last fall's dead leaves, waiting for enough
warmth to launch their flowers for yet one more season.
It is so good to have the sleet and rain for the
water-starved, parched soil.
Later this week, heavy snows are being predicted.
Meanwhile . . . robins are caroling!
"goopledygopp gopp you say"
This spring season is almost totally out of whack. Some would
even say "nonsensical". In the not-so-recent past, a person
count on certain weather-events occurring in a sequential fashion.
Yes - predictable.
Elizabeth and I so love gardening and hardly can wait to begin!
We have had the packets of vegetable and flower seeds for some
time. A normal spring would see the first of the peas in the ground
by the first of April (at least in this part of Minnesota). It is now
well into the second week in April . . .
During this morning's "exploration walk", braving the thick, cold,
sleety rain, I discovered that the elderberry bushes have not even
thought of pushing out their buds to greet the world. (normally,
they are among the first to bud out and flower.) No sign of the
"wild ginger. Or snowdrops.
However, the joyous news is that our bougainvillea vines are
crawling all over the inside of the windows of our backyard-facing
"Garden Room". They cling to light fixtures and rungs of rocking
chairs for support. And, they are blooming in a profusion of pastel
oranges and pinks. It is as if they somehow know that this is the
time for them to escape to the outside to explore the fresh spring air.
(Always, we have put them out on the back deck by mid-March).
Of course the evergreen ground-cover vinca and pachysandra are
peering out from under last fall's dead leaves, waiting for enough
warmth to launch their flowers for yet one more season.
It is so good to have the sleet and rain for the
water-starved, parched soil.
Later this week, heavy snows are being predicted.
Meanwhile . . . robins are caroling!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Just Maybe . . .?
Winter-weary folks keep asking each other when this cold air will depart. And the blue shape on the weather map will disappear - where it looks like it has frozen in place. Complaining about the weather must be at an all time high!
We always have planted our pea-pods on April Fool's Day. Nothing to do with the jokes about the day, but because turning the calendar page to April seems like a good omen of new growth. But not this year. Clem took the shovel out to the raised bed gardens. He could push the shovel into the soil about five inches before hitting "concrete," ground still frozen from the long winter. No pea-planting yet! The poor little winkled peas would shiver in the cold soil until they used up all their energy that they need for germination.
Maybe next week?
The climate-change nay-sayers have been unusually quiet these past months. No asserting that our weather is simply cycling due to natural causes. That the monster storms that repeatedly have halted life across the midsection of the country are just winter as usual.. Perhaps the number of climate-change deniers is dwindling, leaving only those folks believe their profits would be curtailed if changes are made to address the real issues.
I would not want such folks to be running any company of mine. Such short-sighted vision ignores long-range opportunities for more profits.Profits to be made out of creative innovations to change our economy from coal-based energy that contributes to an over-load of carbon dioxide.
To say nothing of the world my grandchildren will inherit. A world of weather extremes, further degradation of the oceans, and possible changes in the atmosphere that produce the Gulf Stream and other major air movements determining world-wide weather. A world with fewer and fewer birds and the disappearance of majestic creations such as polar bears and rich sea life that supported whales and a multitude of fish.
Sometimes I feel like a broken record on the topic of climate change - or a voice crying in the wilderness. I have to remind myself that there is a multitude of people busy addressing these tough and complicated issues.
Meanwhile, I resist the urge to wander out in the back-yard through the snow to see if any brave snowdrops and tulips have pushed their way up through frozen soil.
Maybe next week!
We always have planted our pea-pods on April Fool's Day. Nothing to do with the jokes about the day, but because turning the calendar page to April seems like a good omen of new growth. But not this year. Clem took the shovel out to the raised bed gardens. He could push the shovel into the soil about five inches before hitting "concrete," ground still frozen from the long winter. No pea-planting yet! The poor little winkled peas would shiver in the cold soil until they used up all their energy that they need for germination.
Maybe next week?
The climate-change nay-sayers have been unusually quiet these past months. No asserting that our weather is simply cycling due to natural causes. That the monster storms that repeatedly have halted life across the midsection of the country are just winter as usual.. Perhaps the number of climate-change deniers is dwindling, leaving only those folks believe their profits would be curtailed if changes are made to address the real issues.
I would not want such folks to be running any company of mine. Such short-sighted vision ignores long-range opportunities for more profits.Profits to be made out of creative innovations to change our economy from coal-based energy that contributes to an over-load of carbon dioxide.
To say nothing of the world my grandchildren will inherit. A world of weather extremes, further degradation of the oceans, and possible changes in the atmosphere that produce the Gulf Stream and other major air movements determining world-wide weather. A world with fewer and fewer birds and the disappearance of majestic creations such as polar bears and rich sea life that supported whales and a multitude of fish.
Sometimes I feel like a broken record on the topic of climate change - or a voice crying in the wilderness. I have to remind myself that there is a multitude of people busy addressing these tough and complicated issues.
Meanwhile, I resist the urge to wander out in the back-yard through the snow to see if any brave snowdrops and tulips have pushed their way up through frozen soil.
Maybe next week!
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