Andre' pushed a small mound of dirt out of his hole. Audrey, Audrey, don't push. Don't so impatient. I know you are tired of the dark. No Audrey, you do not want to come out.
Andre' stuck his head up, sniffing the air. He turned himself around in the hole. Still that white stuff all over the ground - and on all sides. Audrey, back off. I need to have some room to maneuver.
Shivering he backed down the hole, sighing and muttering. If he could have wished the snow and cold away, he would have. I thought the television said we have a new normal. Instead, it's more time confined to Gopherville. And no, Audrey, I am NOT going to dig a tunnel southward to some place warm.
Even gophers prefer it to be a bit warmer. Better digging that way. After all, a gopher's calling was to dig, dig, dig.
Back below ground, Andre' pulled out his cell phone. I'm calling Cousin Billy in Asheville. Maybe we could go and visit them.
Andre' waited and waited for Billy to pick up. When he finally did, Billy's voice was muffled.
We are OK here. But just barely. It's been raining cats and dogs - no, not literally - that's just a phrase. There is water everywhere. Some lawns have six inches of standing water. I got several of our holes plugged just in time or we'd have been flooded out of house and home. Some of my friends have not been so lucky - landslides have taken them away and we still haven't heard if they are alive.
Andre' crossed himself and offered up a prayer to Mary, then crossed himself again for good measure. Maybe he and Audrey didn't have it so bad. After all, the snow hadn't come trickling down their holes.
He turned to Audrey to convey Billy's news to her. Looks like a visit is out of the question.
It's tough being a gopher. Some folks think they live the life of Riley. But they are hardworking little creatures, just carving a place for themselves in the world.
After all, the world was a mighty big place with enough room for everyone! Everyone of every stripe and color.
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