Life Without Nines

Sometimes twenty-first century life presents challenges unknown in pre-computer days. With my brain a bit soggy from the last weeks of formatting our newest book [for its next stage with our design consultant], I sat down to my computer. My intention was to check whether I needed to pay a few bills and several other tasks.

 I type in my password for an account - and it is rejected. Sometimes my fingers are a bit sloppy on the keyboard, so I try two more times - more careful to key in the correct numbers.

More rejection! What is this?!

I focus my eyes on the screen to understand what my computer, also a bit soggy in its brain-department, might be adopting as a contrarian position for the day. Aha! The nines in my password are absent. And as we all know, secure sites are a bit touchy about slightly errant passwords, threatening to cut you off at the knees when you try too many times with the wrong sequence of letters and and numbers.

I tap the nine key several time. Nothing happens. I hold it down to no avail.

Oh dear - I shouldn't be surprised. The left parenthesis - on the same key - has not produced a single parenthesis in some time. I have gotten quite enamored to using brackets instead - and I had hoped the problem would go away at some point. After all, Clem's errant period on his keybord returned after wandering around cyber-space for several weeks.

I hoped my missing parenthesis also would find its way home. There was the matter of  my time being consumed on the book and a lack of desire to go keyboard shopping. Keyboard acquisition is a rather unglamorous thing to be doing when there all sorts of other more interesting things to do. And course it is like shoe-shopping. A person can't just buy the first keyboard they see - one must compare options and prices at several stores.

But no nine? I can't pay bills on line, record checks online in Quicken, check Face Book or held email, and make sure I am still solvent at the bank. That's enough for a list of can't. Life has ground to a halt.

In the olden days, I kept my bank transactions in a paper register, reconciled my bank account with a calculator, and called or wrote to people with whom I wanted to talk. And bills even came due at either the middle or end of the month - none of this being spread out across a month.

Life without nines! I don't even want to find out other things I am now prohibited from doing. I'm off to the stores that sell keyboards!