Thursday, July 5, 2012

Take Your Life in Your Hands: Go Somewhere by Car

There are some states in this country where drivers actually obey the traffic laws - and are courteous besides. Such as when you want to change lanes, they let you in. But not in this state of Minnesota Nice!

As a passenger, I have been doing a bit of informal research. Since the driver is in charge of staying safe. I have broken down what I have discovered into categories of drivers what I observe. I have thought of closing my eyes as we back out of the driveway until we return. But that option is just too scary. I guess I want to know when I am about to die.

The Speeders
These folks  believe speed limits are meant for other people. Somehow a good ten or fifteen miles an hour faster is important in their little minds. You hear them approaching behind you by the roaring sound their cars often make - and then see them quickly vanish ahead of you. Except - as cars wait at a stoplight, a second look confirms your suspicion. You have gotten "there" just as fast as them.

The Tailgaters
These drivers are scary - no matter whether it is your bumper they are hugging or someone elses a few cars ahead. They must believe the saying of being able "stop on a dime." And when it is a semi-truck, the scare factor goes up at least tenfold. The causes for this disorder vary. Sometimes as traffic slows, drivers get too close to the car in front of them, eventually realize what they are doing, and increase the distance between them. But other people take it as some kind of affront to their ownership of the freeway. They intimidate - whether or not you have the option to move over a lane to get out of the way. When tailgaters do get ahead of you - because you finally are able to get out of their path - or because they have whipped around you, sometimes using the shoulder to do so. Then they take on the next car. Since most drivers drive near the speed limit and traffic is heavy enough, you can watch a tailgater's behavior ahead for some time. One accident potential after another.

The Weavers
These drivers may have played too many video games. The freeway is an open course to zoom around anyone ahead. Going across one lane and than back over ad nauseum.They may cut in too close or fill a space between two cars as though they were parallel-parking at 60 miles per hour. Sure on occasion, I have played the latest game with grandchildren. It is fun to see if I can race through to the finish faster than they can. And if I careen off a highway wall or roll my vehicle, I get to try again - unharmed.

The Distracted
These folks forget that their primary job is keeping their car on the road and not threatening other drivers. They easily are recognized by the cell phone permanently adhered to their head. Or if their car allows them to phone others without this little rectangular device, they speed down the road looking as though they are "talking to themselves" - which can be distinguished from sing-alongs with radio or CD. Others text, look for stuff in the seat next to them, shave or put on make-up, or otherwise multi-task themselves from point A to B. The most extreme distractor I ever saw was the women who had one foot up on the dash, was putting nail-polish on the toe of her other foot, eating a sandwich, and drinking her Starbucks. Sometimes she steered with her one knee as she staved off starvation.

The Little Old Ladies
Ever see a car in front of you that appears to have no driver?  When you get closer, you realize the driver is a little old woman hunched over the steering wheel and gripping the wheel with both hands - and going ten miles below the minimum speed limit. At least, her male counterpart is tall enough that you know from a distance that the car has a driver. One quite older woman, we both knew had a habit of backing into cars in parking lots. She bought a new big car and wanted to take Clem for a ride in it. He said he would - but just around a vacant church parking lot  after he parked his car out in the street. . .

The Inexperienced
At the other end of the spectrum of drivers is the inexperienced person - who probably has been driving for some time and just can't quite get the hang of it. They can be observed changing lanes abruptly - without signaling - or passing too close for comfort. They look confused if you pass them. And they weave a bit, looking like they have had one-to-many for the road. Their car seems to be too much to handle with any finesse or grace.

The Color-Blind
At least these driver seem to be color-blind. Red-light running is habitual. It is one thing to pass through an intersection on a yellow light. It is quite another to be the fifth car in line going through the light after it has turned red. And there are those who ignore lights on metered lanes, put there to regulate the flow of traffic. Red is just as good for them as green.

At least I have never seen the old joke played out, in which a person buys a new RV with all the bells and whistles. A week later, he returns to the dealer, walking on crutches and a big bandage on his head. "What happened?" asked the salesman. The person replies, "I'm not sure. I put it on the automatic cruise control just like you showed me. Then I went into the back to make myself a cup of coffee. The next thing I knew I had rolled off the road. Something must have been wrong with that control system."

Unfortunately, we are still aways from such automated driving to keep us all safe. And I live in a car-dominated city. Driving to places is often my only option. Sometimes I yearn for European cities where having a car is unnecessary and public transportation can take me wherever I want to go.

So I keep on going places by car - my fingers crossed - taking my life in my hands.

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